Thursday, August 28, 2008

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Welcome Home Shawn

I have loved the Olympics this year. In the past, I have stuck to mostly watching gymnastics and figure skating. But this year I watched it all! I am so sad that it is all over. What will I watch now?
Anyway, tonight Des Moines, Iowa welcomed back Shawn Johnson, gymnastics superstar, and I couldn't help but admit I am starstruck over our hometown hero. Luckily, Elise is too so we went to the shindig.

Apparently we weren't the only ones who had fallen in love with her. They said about 7,000 people showed up to welcome her home at the Wells Fargo Arena.

I was glad that they got out a big t.v. for those of us who showed up just on time so we could see her hold up her medals from way up in the nose bleed seats.

Way to go Shawn Johnson!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Antidepressant Withdrawal Hell

I have been unsure how personal I wanted this blog to get. I guess anytime you open yourself to people you become vulnerable. Online, and I guess also in life, you get the opportunity to either show the world only the pieces of yourself that you are proud of or comfortable with or you can be totally honest and bare it all. Well, I have been inspired by the post of an old friend to share a part of my life that is most painful. My struggle with depression. Since puberty, I have had some tough episodes in life. The most frustrating thing for me about depression is to feel so bad and wrong inside and not be able to associate it with anything that has happened. To be stuck in such a dark place and feel like it won't get better.
We have seen in the past decade or so an increased acceptance of depression as a mental illness. There have been numerous commercials and advertisements by drug companies for their various prescriptions and as much as 10% of the population has bought into those drugs. Brady told me that up to 1/3 of all visits to primary care doctors are for psychological problems like depression. It isn't hard to get a prescription for depression from one of these doctors who have limited training in treating these issues. And the drugs help at times; they really do. I have been helped by them since around puberty. The problem that I have with this is whether doctors have any idea what its like to try to get off these medications?
I guess that brings me to what my issue has been this last week. I have been married for almost 4 years and am 25 years of age and have no children. I live in a town home complex where I am a rarity. Few couples have been married longer, are older, and have no children. It is hard to be children-less around so many couples who have started their families. I have about had it. I Want Children Already! Well guess what... its recommended that you are not on any drugs while you are pregnant. So here I am, the past couple of years, slowly eliminating these toxins from my body and having a difficult time doing it. And no one had told me when started taking these drugs that it would be difficult to ever stop them. I doubt that the doctors who first prescribed them to me had any idea what getting off antidepressants did to people. Here is my latest experience.
There is one antidepressant in particular that I have been on for years and years. I don't remember when I started it, but it helps me get to sleep each night. Well, I've been tapering off it this summer. I went from one and a half to one for a while, to a half for a bit, then to a quarter and was doing just fine. Well last weekend I ran out of pills and went off of the drug. I didn't sleep well the first night and slept the most late that morning. What followed that morning was horrific. My mind and my body went berserk. I couldn't stop crying, my muscles were sore and exhausted, my brain felt like mush, I had diarrhea and was nauseated. I've come to realize that antidepressants are serious drugs that cause withdrawals like street drugs! After spending the weekend in hell, I ended up missing work Monday and visiting the urgent care. I was able to get a prescription for the drug that I had discontinued and started back on a quarter of a pill. It took a day after starting the drug again for my mind to become stable again and it took clear until Friday for my body to get back to normal.
Apparently I am not the only one who was suprised by how hard it is to get off antidepressants. I found hundreds of confused people online posting on bulletin boards about their own struggles. I can't believe that doctors don't know more about this and don't give more warning to their patients! These drugs are advertised as safe and non-addictive and yet they cause so much pain and sickness to so many people who turned to them to get relief. I found a story that ABC did recently on the topic and am glad that the world is becoming aware. Read it if you like at
Anyway, I am just so relieved to be feeling better and feel so blessed to have had my husband there to support me through this.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I love sunsets and can't help but take oodles of pictures of them. I decided to try out the panoramic function on my camera and decided its kinda hard to get separate pictures to line up perfectly. But I thought that I would post my attempt.
This is just down the road from my house. Its a beautiful green field of... I'm not sure what. Every time I drive by it I just want to take a picture. I think that this picture illustrates what people meant when they told me, before I moved here, that in Iowa you can see someone stand up from miles away. I really don't think that is true in most cases, since the terrain flows in hills; but here it looks like it goes on for miles.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Yay for vampires!

I won't talk about what my title is referring to in detail in case there is anyone who is not as far as me in Breaking Dawn (which there probably isn't since everyone I've talked to seems to be finished), but I can't believe that the book is going where I wanted it to go. Well, at least I am pretty sure it is. I love the book so far and would just keep reading if it weren't 2 in the morning. I thought writing here would calm me down enough to sleep.
Meanwhile here are some photos from the Iowa State Fair today.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson made out
of butter.

Me and Brady enjoying the whole reason I came to the fair, deep fried oreos.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Good Morning Sunshine, The Earth Says Hello!

I had a great morning today. I got out of bed at 11 and was met with a story about a Sleeping Beauty taped on the wall that continued as I descended the stairs. At the bottom was a gift! This sleeping beauty will be attending the So You Think You Can Dance tour when it comes to Minnesota in October! I am so excited. What a wonderfully surprising husband I have.