Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Why Do I Blog

Its been awhile since I have used my blog in a more personal way. I think that I get sucked into doing what everyone else seems to do on their blogs. But the reason that I started a blog was not to have a family newsletter. The reason I began blogging was to release my feelings into a place where they may find others who needed a person to be honest and just say it how it is. That is often why I search the countless blog posts about what so-and-so's family is up to. I am searching for some humanity! Humanity is flawed, insecure, and emotional. A lot of the time humanity is eluded. What I do find is perfection. Life is happening perfectly and flawlessly for everyone in the blogosphere and all are content.
So let me be honest with you.
My life is imperfect. I am a tremendously flawed person. I have a hard time feeling satisfied with anything. Being a stay-at-home mom is not my life's ambition fulfilled. But I have no idea what is and that paralyzes and drives me crazy.
I was never thrilled that my husband wanted to be a doctor. But I am willing to stand by his side and cheer him on because that is what his life's ambition is and I love him, even if it makes life difficult for me. I am doing the best that I know how to overcome my feelings of irritability and impatience with my position in life at this time. I sure wish that I did not feel so alone. If there are others like me out there will you please take off your masks once in awhile.

5 comments:

Katrina said...

YOU are not alone!!! Thanks for taking off your mask and speaking from your heart!

Whitney and Brad said...

nobodys life is perfect, they just dont show it. Every person has a different reason for doing a blog too. Im sorry you feel down right now. Life is hard, and its hard to be a stay at home mom. I often get impatient, bored, or feel alone too. You just need to find an escape. Once or twice a week go out and do something thats for you and it makes coming home that much sweeter. Also when I feel like that I know that Im slacking on my spiritual side. I often forget to read my scriptures and say prayers. When I start to do those things again I feel so much better. hope that helps a little but know that every woman has a hard time and feels lonely

Elise said...

I'm glad you can be open and honest on your blog. And I'm sad you are feeling down. I agree 100% with everything Whitney said. Hopefully that helps a little bit.

I definitely didn't start my blog as a journal. I'm a little bit too private for that. I like to record little moments and share pictures, especially with my family since they live so far. It's not a place I feel like sharing everything. But, by no means does that imply that everything is hunky dory all of the time. But I can see where you are coming from, and how that makes you feel like other people don't have hard times. I think it's just not something a lot of people like to share openly on a blog. There is no right way, for sure. That's the beauty of it being yours! And I appreciate your openness.

Hopefully you can find something that will help you feel more fulfilled.

Melanie said...

I totally understand what you girls are saying. I should not expect anyone to alter their creation to suit my needs. I obviously need some friends that I can interact with outside of the online world. They have been really hard to come by since I have been living with my mom. Its hard to make any ties when you are only living in a spot for 10 months and everyone knows your temporary. I might as well be invisible for all the attention my ward has paid me. I just barely got a calling. You girls should know that your cute family posts do make me smile and give me some company. Thanks ( :

Elise said...

I know it can be really hard when you are living somewhere for short periods of time. I bet that will change when you move soon!