Its been awhile since I have used my blog in a more personal way. I think that I get sucked into doing what everyone else seems to do on their blogs. But the reason that I started a blog was not to have a family newsletter. The reason I began blogging was to release my feelings into a place where they may find others who needed a person to be honest and just say it how it is. That is often why I search the countless blog posts about what so-and-so's family is up to. I am searching for some humanity! Humanity is flawed, insecure, and emotional. A lot of the time humanity is eluded. What I do find is perfection. Life is happening perfectly and flawlessly for everyone in the blogosphere and all are content.
So let me be honest with you.
My life is imperfect. I am a tremendously flawed person. I have a hard time feeling satisfied with anything. Being a stay-at-home mom is not my life's ambition fulfilled. But I have no idea what is and that paralyzes and drives me crazy.
I was never thrilled that my husband wanted to be a doctor. But I am willing to stand by his side and cheer him on because that is what his life's ambition is and I love him, even if it makes life difficult for me. I am doing the best that I know how to overcome my feelings of irritability and impatience with my position in life at this time. I sure wish that I did not feel so alone. If there are others like me out there will you please take off your masks once in awhile.