Its been awhile since I have used my blog in a more personal way. I think that I get sucked into doing what everyone else seems to do on their blogs. But the reason that I started a blog was not to have a family newsletter. The reason I began blogging was to release my feelings into a place where they may find others who needed a person to be honest and just say it how it is. That is often why I search the countless blog posts about what so-and-so's family is up to. I am searching for some humanity! Humanity is flawed, insecure, and emotional. A lot of the time humanity is eluded. What I do find is perfection. Life is happening perfectly and flawlessly for everyone in the blogosphere and all are content.
So let me be honest with you.
My life is imperfect. I am a tremendously flawed person. I have a hard time feeling satisfied with anything. Being a stay-at-home mom is not my life's ambition fulfilled. But I have no idea what is and that paralyzes and drives me crazy.
I was never thrilled that my husband wanted to be a doctor. But I am willing to stand by his side and cheer him on because that is what his life's ambition is and I love him, even if it makes life difficult for me. I am doing the best that I know how to overcome my feelings of irritability and impatience with my position in life at this time. I sure wish that I did not feel so alone. If there are others like me out there will you please take off your masks once in awhile.
5 comments:
YOU are not alone!!! Thanks for taking off your mask and speaking from your heart!
nobodys life is perfect, they just dont show it. Every person has a different reason for doing a blog too. Im sorry you feel down right now. Life is hard, and its hard to be a stay at home mom. I often get impatient, bored, or feel alone too. You just need to find an escape. Once or twice a week go out and do something thats for you and it makes coming home that much sweeter. Also when I feel like that I know that Im slacking on my spiritual side. I often forget to read my scriptures and say prayers. When I start to do those things again I feel so much better. hope that helps a little but know that every woman has a hard time and feels lonely
I'm glad you can be open and honest on your blog. And I'm sad you are feeling down. I agree 100% with everything Whitney said. Hopefully that helps a little bit.
I definitely didn't start my blog as a journal. I'm a little bit too private for that. I like to record little moments and share pictures, especially with my family since they live so far. It's not a place I feel like sharing everything. But, by no means does that imply that everything is hunky dory all of the time. But I can see where you are coming from, and how that makes you feel like other people don't have hard times. I think it's just not something a lot of people like to share openly on a blog. There is no right way, for sure. That's the beauty of it being yours! And I appreciate your openness.
Hopefully you can find something that will help you feel more fulfilled.
I totally understand what you girls are saying. I should not expect anyone to alter their creation to suit my needs. I obviously need some friends that I can interact with outside of the online world. They have been really hard to come by since I have been living with my mom. Its hard to make any ties when you are only living in a spot for 10 months and everyone knows your temporary. I might as well be invisible for all the attention my ward has paid me. I just barely got a calling. You girls should know that your cute family posts do make me smile and give me some company. Thanks ( :
I know it can be really hard when you are living somewhere for short periods of time. I bet that will change when you move soon!
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